America Part 1

“Slow and mindful steps, slow and steady breaths,” is another mantra that Emily and I used throughout our trek through Canada in order to keep ourselves conscious of our movements, and it is another mantra that I have found extraordinarily important to keep in mind during all of my experiences throughout Kenya. In true circular fashion, I felt it would truly complete this series of blog posts if I conclude with another mantra from Canada since it is how this all began. Recall: “Are you in the moment?” The mantra that took my adventurous spirit from the state of dream-hood to reality, and that serves as a reminder meaning more than I ever thought words could mean, as well as a catalyst for my growth. Not only do these mantras help to keep me present and grounded, but they give me the serenity I need to prosper in any given situation. Each and every adventure that I go on is a way for me to challenge myself to further develop, and my time in Kenya thus far has provided me with that opportunity as well.

As the past few weeks have come to a close, plenty of goodbyes have had to happen, but luckily they’ve been followed by a few hellos! The hardest part for me about saying goodbye though is that I have to let go of things that I’ve become so attached to, however small. For instance, the way that the security guard at my home in Eldoret greeted me every morning with a huge smile on his face, sending me off with well wishes for my day, to the way that the chef at the compound jovially said “karibu” (you’re welcome) after being thanked each meal. Saying goodbye to those people, even those people that I’ve only exchanged a few words with, is so hard because of the impact that they’ve had on my life, and I can never thank them enough for all of the ways that they’ve changed me.

It’s such a double-edged sword however, because the best part of travel is the people that I meet, even though ultimately it leads to the inevitable goodbye. One of the many reasons why I love travel so much is for the opportunity to interact with people, have them share their culture with me, and genuinely have my eyes opened to perspectives I never would have thought of before. There are many people that I’ve met these past four months who I know I may never see again, and many others who I’m certain that I will. But either way, I want to thank everyone in Kenya for welcoming me into their hearts, and helping me to find a new place to call home. Everyone that I met wanted me to tell America that they said hello, so what better avenue than this blog! “Hello from Kenya!”  

So let’s start,with the end then. I left Kenya and landed for a layover in Amsterdam. The first place that I saw when walking off the plane was a Starbucks and I beelined for it, fiending for my iced chai latte. As I took my first sip, I realized that it wasn’t nearly as satisfying as I’d expected it to be, and the rest of it didn’t fulfill me the way I’d hoped it would either. As strange as this may seem, this was the first inkling I had that everything was different. I guess to understand why this was so significant to me, you would have to know that I spent literally every penny of my meal plan at Hofstra on iced chai lattes from Starbucks the previous semester. So the fact that I no longer enjoyed the flavor anymore, well you can imagine. As I said, I knew that everything was different.

I had a bit longer to ruminate on this during my flight into New York, although mostly in a fatigued and clouded state of mind, aka. a completely unproductive line of thought. This time when I got off the plane, I was concerned primarily with how I was going to receive all of the love I was bound to be bombarded with from my family at Hofstra. A couple of my “sisters” picked me up from the airport and we went out to IHOP to meet some of our “brothers”.  We took the same drive from the airport towards my school that I’d taken from my school to the airport prior to my departure for Kenya, but absolutely everything looked different. The very things that I passed and thought “jeez I’m going to miss that” were the very things that I now looked at and said “damn, I could definitely live without that.” And then being with everyone was far more natural than I expected even though I spent the majority of my time trying to stay awake (going on 30+ hours of no sleep). I spent our time at the restaurant taking note of the smallest things, like the condensation on my glass of water because of the ice, an unfamiliar feeling now that my fingers and tongue had been without for a bit of time. During the rest of the weekend, I stayed with my friends and attended graduation where the true fin to a chapter concluded. This inspired me to prepare more thoroughly for my future. I left graduation and went immediately to purchase GRE preparation books with the intent of attending graduate school. This however, is outside of the scope of this post!

Love you Grandma!!

So the following week, I spent quite a bit of time with my grandma and popa, two of my most avid readers! They serve as some of my biggest inspirations for continuing this blog, and for taking advantage of all the opportunities I have. I want to mention the perseverance that I’ve witnessed in them both, and the motivation that this gives me to keep pursuing all of my dreams. I love them so much and am so glad that I got to be welcomed home by them and my parents!

Although there are so many aspects of everything that I could discuss, that will have to come at a later date because at this time, everything is still very overwhelming and I’m trying to process it all! But as I begin to formulate more thoughts, I will be sure to document them here.

I’ve come a far way from what I once was but am not yet what I’m going to be, and I am so looking forward to continuing to develop throughout the rest of my formative years, and hopefully for the rest of my life! Nimeshukuru sana sana!! Thank you so much for following me along this journey, and here’s to many many more! (PS, please feel free to click on the link to Instagram below for a more up-to-date view of the adventures I’m on throughout this summer).

Siku njema!
Beca

Eldoret

Something that I’ve struggled with since being in Kenya is the blatant distinction between white and black. As has been apparent in many posts, I very much dislike having my attention drawn by someone shouting out “mzungu!” and when receiving no response, changing it to “white lady!” This past week however, I experienced many things which finally gave me an inkling of understanding about the distinction between socioeconomic class, which as an outsider, hadn’t seemed as obvious to me. After a comment made by my mom about how she expected things to be so much less expensive in Kenya, I realized how right she was. Most of the items that I’ve purchased have been from places like Nakumatt, which I previously referred to as the equivalent of Walmart. I’ve since learned however that socially, Nakumatt is perceived as many perceive Target in America, a classier, more expensive version of the same thing. Otherwhys, I buy things on the street where I’m perceived as deserving a higher price than my equal Kenyan counterpart because of my foreignness.

In reality though, things that an average Kenyan buys at an average price, are much more what my mother had expected. With some variation, a matatu (kenyan bus) is 30 ksh (30 cents), a bag of 4 fresh avocados is 80 ksh (80 cents), a coke in a glass bottle 35 ksh (35 cents), etc. -you get the picture, extraordinarily reasonable compared to American prices for comparable items.

I am not at all disputing the abject poverty that many Kenyans live in, nor am I disputing that those who are well off do not still struggle because of the economy. But what I’ve come to realize is that in America, most people make a relatively steady income, even those who don’t work, thanks to the infrastructures that we’ve set up. This thought process relates back to my experiences this past week in which I had the opportunity to shadow some street health care workers who are helping to facilitate the OSCAR research. OSCAR stands for Orphaned and Separated Children Assessment Related to their health and well-being.

Money is not something that most people like to talk about, but here I’m about to. Like most college educated students, my family and I are in a significant amount of debt because of it. Does this mean that I won’t buy a new pair of shoes or go out to dinner with the small amount of savings that I have? No. Should it? Maybe. But the point is that I’m riding on the last bit of that savings now to carry me through the rest of the semester. It took three years of working part time while in school to earn enough money to buy my plane ticket to Kenya. So when someone is following me along my entire walk home (especially prevalent during my OSCAR outreach) requesting that I fund their trip to America as if because I’m white, I inherently have that money, it gets very frustrating.

At the time, I was feeling as though I was being perceived by the community as this entitled girl who was too selfish to share the wealth instead of a hardworking girl who is just trying to learn what I can to be able to make a difference in the world someday. From my perspective, what distinguishes the west from developing countries is not so much having physical money, but rather having the opportunity to earn in. Although we struggle with unemployment in America as well, I feel that there are more opportunities to work than in Kenya. In my opinion therefore foreign aid to countries should not come in the sense of money, but rather in the sense of helping local people start their own companies, resulting in opportunities for others to become employees, etc. That is one thing that Kenya has going for them as one of the fastest growing economies-the entrepreneurship is through the roof. So many people start so many amazing businesses. Although it may be because they don’t have any other choice, many of these businesses are thriving. The variety of businesses range from selling clothes second hand on the street, to companies situated in buildings throughout the central business district of Nairobi, accessed through online marketing and spread by word of mouth.

What really motivated this post however, was when I was told that I could not walk home, and if I needed money for a taxi, well “it was only 3 dollars, so if I didn’t have it, anyone in the room could give it to me” (in a room full of very well off Americans). And I’ve realized that this is why the perception of us is as it is here in Kenya. 300 ksh is a lot to spend on a taxi for such a short distance, and money is far from expendable. For a Kenyan family, those 300 ksh could be the difference between someone being able to afford feeding their family for dinner for an entire week, or not. Yet to these Americans, it was only* three dollars. It put me in such a position where I felt embarrassed for feeling like that was a lot to go literally down the street, and I can only imagine how others feel when foreigners can appear so demeaning. It’s no wonder that people expect us to just give them money when this is the perception that many literally hand over to them. In terms of something larger than the topic of money (although that is certainly a large topic), it’s important to keep this in mind when interacting with any set of diverse peoples. Whether from the same culture or community, there is frequently a less visible difference in many other aspects of people's’ lives.

For these reasons, and for several others, one should never assume anything about another. The Americans that I associated with assumed that I would have enough money to be able to take a taxi, and Kenyans live in a constant state of assuming that I have extra money laying around to hand out. As my dad always says though, assuming only makes an ass out of you and of I, and I have to second that. Without assumptions about others, the world would be filled with less judgement and more communal understanding and societal progress.

With all of this being said however, I understand how sensitive of a subject money is and I hope that I have not approached it too obnoxiously. I am conscientious of the fact that everything I say comes with the privilege of being able to say so. By having enough money to travel, even for studies, I have more money than many Kenyans. Despite how positive my intentions in studying abroad may be, that doesn’t change the way that I appear. My perspective on this matter is obviously directly correlated to the fact that I am a white American, and regardless of how my opinion on the matter changes throughout my life, that will always be the fact. Although sometimes difficult to cope with, because I’ve always been one to find myself uncomfortable when sitting in a room full of white people, I know that in society, it doesn’t matter how I feel on the inside, rather how others from the outside perceive me. That however, is a commentary for another day. I think that for now, this is enough to soak in.

Siku njema!

Beca